“Perhaps, as we say in America, I wanted to find myself. This is an interesting phrase, not current as far as I know in the language of any other people, which certainly does not mean what it says but betrays a nagging suspicion that something has been misplaced. I think now that if I had any intimation that the self I was going to find would turn out to be only the same self from which I had spent so much time in flight, I would have stayed at home. But again, I think I knew, at the very bottom of my heart, exactly what i was doing when i took the boat for France.”
-James Baldwin
Less than 24 hours left. about to spend it with my host family, in my first home in Thailand. and then what happens? I get on the plane that brought me here and here becomes somewhere else. So, I leave this six month experience sharing the same quote that I came with. Truthfully, I do not know exactly what I am doing getting on that plane tomorrow, but I anticipate returning to my life in America should be as much of an adventure as leaving ever was.
a short list of things I will miss:
sticky rice (duh)
all other food and eating at ran ahans/from street stalls
The soi, na maw, the mountains, bpai tiow yuh
cmu’s campus
the culture of taking care of each other and helping each other
Mae Sai, Pi Gift, and Pi Goo (and their childish antics)
Tinglish- ain’t that the jing jing. keet tung leow!
a short list of things I am excited to return to:
My mama at the airport
roadtripping to Amherst with Eroll to see Mike and have mad twin-ness together
everyone else i will be visiting with on my short tour through the mitten
sweaters
large curd cottage cheese
To quote a wonderful professor and friend, Ajaan Daniel, “by no means are these lists exhaustive,” but they give you a gist of where i’m at- somewhere between denial, pre-nostalgia and excitement. Here goes nothing.